If you’re just joining us, I’m in the middle of a very scary story! Click here for part 1! plane crash
I gripped my armrest. Mud sloshed over the plane. I couldn’t see 10 feet. Out the tiny window, the savanna was going through a spin cycle, wind and rain whipping where there once was an endless swath of green grass and bright sun. plane crash
I panicked. I prayed. And yes, my life flashed before my eyes.
The pilot continued his foolish tear down the runway, but I had a gut feeling we weren’t going to take off.
Conditions weren’t right for anything but disaster. plane crash
I don’t know much about the science behind how planes fly, and I attempted to look it up just now so I would sound smart, but whatever, I don’t do physics, ok? (Section 27, Article V of the Travel Blogger’s Code – No Physics) And it doesn’t even matter. Anyone with half a lick of sense knows you need lift and thrust to get into the air, and at that moment, we didn’t have either. No, we had eight terrified passengers, a madman at the controls, a mucky, slick airstrip, several inches of heavy precipitation and blustery wind swirling all around us. plane crash
And hyenas.
As the pilot sped toward takeoff, our little aircraft fishtailed left, then right, then left, then right, hydroplaning back and forth, never maintaining a straight path. We’d skid all the way to the left edge of the dirt track only to correct and go back the other way. Carry on bags were sliding all over the cabin. I kept expecting the pilot to decelerate and wait the storm out, but instead he pressed on, determined to fly. Anyone – seriously, anyone – could see it was impossible… and reckless and dangerous and stupid. If we managed to get off the ground, I knew we’d be coming right back down. And possibly not in one piece.
So what did I think about when I thought I might be in my life’s last moments?
-I sent up a quick prayer for help and thought I might be on my way to heaven a lot sooner than I expected. I’m not afraid to die because I know where I’m going when I do, but I was pretty concerned about not dying and suffering some painful injuries. plane crash
-I remember thinking that if I survived the inevitable crash – either from flipping us end-over-end, breaking the wings off and exploding in a fireball or from wind slamming our airborne plane back down to the ground – there was a chance I’d also have to survive a secondary fight when animals came looking for supper in the wreckage. You know in some carnivorous circles, travel blogger is considered a delicacy!
-I wondered if I had cell service out there and who in the world I could call for help.
Hey, Mom. Yeah, it’s Ange. So don’t freak out, but uh, I’m upside down in a burned out plane. Where? Um, the Masai Mara in Kenya. It’s a nature reserve. Yes, yes there are wild animals. No… there isn’t really an address per se. Well, there aren’t any roads. What’s around me? Uh… a herd of elands. Elands, you know, they’re like antelopes. No, not the small ones – you’re thinking of Thomson’s gazelles. These are bigger, with horns. You know what, nevermind. I’ll call you later.
-I thought about how certain relatives would gloat at my funeral that they were right about this “solo female traveling around the world” thing being a bad idea.
Totally called it! I knew she would end up dead! Girls just can’t travel alone.
-I also thought, in what could have been my last moments on earth, about how this whole experience would make a darn good story for AngieAway.com if I lived to tell the tale. See? I was thinking of you! Don’t you feel loved?!
The dirt runway – well after the rain stopped
We approached the end of our taxi at full ready-to-takeoff speed and as I predicted, never had a chance of becoming airborne. Instead, we overshot the runway – yes, without ever attempting to slow down – and began to rotate out of control, around and around and around, enough times that I couldn’t count. (Not that you could reasonably expect me to count how many times my out-of-control bush plane spun into the African savanna.)
The real tragedy here, since obviously a ‘real’ tragedy was avoided, is that we quite possibly disrupted any number of migrating gnus from their peaceful grass eating. Tisk, tisk. What would PETA think?
The view from where I sat
Back to the out-of-control spinning into the wilderness… I reflexively put my hands on the metal ceiling above me, hoping maybe I could brace myself and prevent a head injury if we ended up flipping. Our high speed certainly made it feel like a possibility.
I don’t know how far we got from the airstrip – outside the window really looked like a blurred, foamy, green and brown spin cycle – but suddenly, finally, we stopped.
I don’t think I was breathing. No one on the plane said a word.
*****************************************************************
The pilot flipped a few switches and turned the plane back toward the runway. We bumped across the grass in silence. It felt like it took a long time to get back. I still couldn’t see much out the window for the storm raging around us. My heart was shaking me it was beating so hard and my eyes were gaping portals of terror. (Is that dramatic enough? Y’all, I was FREAKING out.) plane crash
Finally, we made it to our original starting place and the pilot turned off the engine and propellers.
He turned around to address us all for the first time, and with no hint of irony in his booming, thickly accented voice said,
The plane cannot take off.
OH REALLY, YA JACKWAGON?!
I sat there with my jaw on the floor as he lifted the door and hopped out to examine the runway. Once he was out of the plane, I turned around to the other seven passengers and said, “Is anyone else here totally freaking out?” plane crash
The German lady in front of me, I kid you not, said, “I’ve never been in a small plane. It’s all so exciting!”
WHAT?! Nein, nein, nein, Frau Crazy Brains! This is not an amusement park ride! Incredulously I explained that careening out of control is not normal. plane crash
Two Kenyan guys in the back piped in, “Yes, he is a very good pilot. He saved us all.”
I’m sorry, but wha??? A good pilot wouldn’t have attempted such a takeoff in the first place. I certainly wasn’t going to give him a pat on the back for saving our lives when he’s the one who tried to kill us to begin with.
Three curious Masai in a worn out pickup truck pulled alongside the runway, the apparent emergency salvage crew in case our second attempt failed. Obviously, since I’m here to tell the tale, we did eventually take off and make it back to Nairobi, after the storm passed and after another scare in the air. (This post is already too long – ask me about it in person!)
Everyone cheered once we were finally airborne – except me. I was holding the armrests way too tightly to bother with clapping.
A rainbow and relief
AFTERWORD
A few days later, I reported my discomfort with the incident to the airline and was told the pilot is ex-military with several thousand hours of flying experience — but sadly he’s not a good communicator. They very much regret he was not able to reassure all the passengers as the events unfolded. I was even refunded for that leg of the flight. But I would never fly with them again. You just let me know if you’re planning a trip to Kenya and I’ll be happy to share the airline with you.
OMG Angie…never a dull moment with you. I’m glad you’re ok….now!!! But now that I KNOW you’re ok I have to tell you I was cracking up reading your blog. PLEASE be careful. We don’t want all those “naysayers” saying they were right about the lone girl travling the world. You go girl!!!
Thanks for reading =) All the rough patches and plane crashes are worth the freakouts if we can laugh about them in the end!
WHAT? This is terrifying. I’m scared enough flying a Delta Connection flight from Nashville to NYC with a 1-2 seating pattern, and that’s hardly “small!” You’re brave, girl.
Delta Connection scares me, too! I tell ya after the Kenya experience, Delta Connection feels amazing, haha
That German lady probably thought it’s how small planes operate “we try a few times and hopefully we can fly” haha 😀 it really made me laugh through this tragic story 😀
If I was on board, I would probably laugh as soon as there was no more danger. It is my way of reassuring myself that I am still ok haha 😀 You wouldv’e probably punched me in the face if I did that haha
I only laughed once we were safely on the ground and I was recounting the story to a group of guys I met at my hotel in Nairobi. ONLY THEN was it funny =)
OMG- “Nein, nein, nein, Frau Crazy Brains!” Classic! Almost P’d myself 🙂
Hehehe. Trying to get back to my old form… when I was funny, not just travelly
I recently landed at Lukla, world’s scariest airport. Needless to say Steve had a few fingernail indents in his thigh after that one – and nothing even went wrong! If I were in your shoes I reckon my survival instincts would have taken over and I would have punched out the pilot. Seriously though, well done; and what an account!!!!!!
YIKES! Lukla sounds like a treat, haha. Glad you survived your scary incident too!
Crazy Brains indeed.
Thank you for reinforcing that!
That sounds like the pilot I would head for… 🙂
Bush pilots tick a bit different. 😉
You are right about that! Anything goes!
OMG that is the scariest thing ever! I can’t believe no one else was even worried!
I know – everyone was surprisingly chill. I don’t think they realized how serious it was at all!
I have had a few crazy pilots over the years. The smaller planes are always a little more , say we say adventurous.
Definitely a daredevil move!
One of my oldest friends was in a minor plane crash in Africa many years ago and had a ten-year neck injury. Carry on!
Holy cow! Where in Africa? It’s so scary!
small planes are supposed to be safer (but on a normal sunny day, I guess) … thanks for the hilarious read….
You’re welcome!
Omg!! I would have had a heart attack right there :S
I think I was pretty darn close!
Unbelievably scary, but I love how you told the story. Glad that you’re OK.
Thank you for reading =)
I would have been freaking out right along with you!! Yikes!
Ditto Laurel – unbelievable story with stupid pilot, but you told the story really well. I’m just glad you’re ok! 😉
Great to know you made it!!! I bet YOU got a few grey hairs living through that… Hope it is the last near death experience!!!!
Crikey love – what a nightmare. I think I would have been more scared of being eaten my animals. Not really the place you wanna crash land. Always an idiot pilot to make you evaluate life!
But good to hear your sense of humour shine through as always!
Not the best day of the trip but definitely one of the best stories =) Somehow always works out that way.
Us bloggers always find the positive in the negative – a good story! 😉
uhhh…i was looking at puddle jumpers there…would you recommend Air Kenya??
I didn’t fly Air Kenya so I couldn’t say… but maybe that’s the best endorsement I could give, haha
Frau Crazy Brains! Scary…and a funny, great read Angie. Wow!
Thanks! Definitely more fun to write than to experience!
“OH REALLY, YA JACKWAGON?!” LOL.
Now I really wish I weren’t flying tomorrow.
This is why I always steer away from riding small private planes in developing countries. Crazy, crazy indeed. At least you came out with a great story to tell.
It’s definitely a good story in hindsight… in person, not so much!
Yowsers, that sounds like a terrifying experience. I literally just watched United 93 (the movie about one of the hijacked planes during September 11) so between that and your story, the whole flying thing’s not looking so appealing, haha!
Yeah, maybe stay out of the skies for a bit 😉
Oh wow. That sounds crazy! You had another scare while in the air?!
Going through some of your old posts Kenya and I say this caught my eye and was worth the reading. What an experience.